I am so glad that Vivek Oberoi is finally getting married. My morning papers will finally not see the need to carry headlines on the ongoing ceremonies.
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Why is there such an inordinate amount of press coverage on every little detail of his nuptials?
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When last seen, he was a struggling actor with a bad hair-do, better known for his skirmishes with his ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, than for his acting prowess.
But now suddenly, he seems to have transformed.
The papers have been gushing over him. Unsuspecting Bangaloreans wake up to the hot news that Mr Oberoi is actually a heart-throb, and millions of girls are heart-broken that the man is tying the knot with our very own Pri.
Short of taking a nation-wide poll with all the single girls left in India, show me one, just one, who is heartbroken.
His new moustache, the Fourth Estate will have us know, is now a style statement that thousands of young men are dying to emulate. All I can say, and to borrow a very expressive expletive from a friend, is "Gah!"
We now know every little detail of his wedding invite, the GPRS locations of all the "secret" venues that were "leaked" by sources unknown to the press, and every last mithai being served for the various poojas.
Pictures of security guards "hurriedly" trying to close the gates of the Alva residence before the press got evidence of the flower arrangements, have made it to Page One. Needless to say before the day is out, someone or the other would have leaked that crucial snippet of news too!
We have been treated to a detailed schedule of what time which puja on which day has been arranged. We have seen "scoops" of pics with "A-list" guests that have attended the various ceremonies. We have been through the bio-data of all the illustrious musicians who've been hired to serenade the couple into wedded bliss.
We have been subjected to the sequins which were picked by Tarun Tahiliani for the sangeet outfit (the bride's outfit that is, not the afore-mentioned heart-throb groom's). And we are now all eagerly awaiting the arrival of good friend and "star" Sushmita Sen in the city.
In the meantime, what Nandini Alva is giving her son-in-law has been lent quite a few column inches. The details on the turban from Jaipur have jostled for space with the Kochi cricket team controversy.
They say, the Pollution Control Board has decided to ban the use of noise polluting fireworks over Diwali this year. That's a step in the right direction.
Now if only they would muzzle the inert gas and loud brouhaha on the irrelevant details of every wannabe-star's wedding!
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