Sachin Meena and Seema Haider are not the first couple to have fallen in love across the Veer-Zara border via the internet—playing PUBG, a battle game, making the metaphors too much to take. But aur bhi neighbours hain zamane mein, closer to home, ready for combat.

Consider the woman, mostly referred to in the media as “Seema’s Indian neighbour” and “Savage green sari woman” and the viral video of her colourful consternation at the Sachin-Seema love story. “Kya hai Sachin? Lappu sa Sachin… jhingoor sa ladka” (“what even is Sachin? Gormless Sachin, more cricket, less boy”).