Modernity” was the USP of OYO, the budget friendly hotel booking chain founded in 2012. It endorsed inexpensive but “decent” accommodation aka that which  had some basic amenities suitable to middle class tastes and expectations—white sheets, air-conditioning, bright lights. Most notable was how this USP was expanded into a cultural statement: they listed hotels that allowed unmarried couples to check in as long as they were above 18.

Without a doubt, this was a big deal. In India the struggle for private space is both physical and intensely psychological. Most people stay with families. And social spaces are policed by the narrow gaze of families, landlords, hostel matrons, building societies. Once couples sought refuge in public spaces away from home. But the news media’s ‘sting operations’ and predatory breaking news stole those spaces. As a young woman I interviewed for a film on moral policing in Meerut, said “love is not a bad thing, but it should not be in a place like parks, jiski reputation down ho chuki hai.” This network of censoriousness paints desire as sleazy and instills a shame that people take into marriage, no matter its social standing, and pass on to their children. It’s sad that shame props up the institution of marriage—and the violence or loneliness in it.