We are among the happiest lot on Earth and those who junk this are simply living in denial
India ranked 149 countries on how happy their citizens perceived themselves to be, and I was appalled to not find it in the Top 10, let alone Top 5. Representation pic
The only time I stopped smiling this year was when the World Happiness Report 2021 issued by the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network began making the rounds a few weeks ago. It ranked 149 countries on how happy their citizens perceived themselves to be, and I was appalled to not find India in the Top 10, let alone the Top 5. I kept scrolling, as long-forgotten feelings of anger and disappointment began to surface, and had to take a break after the Top 20 countries were listed. India was nowhere to be found, the top spots all occupied by dubious countries such as Finland, Iceland, Denmark, Switzerland, and The Netherlands.
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How could the UN get this so wrong, I asked a smiling friend, who was slapping me on the back with happiness at the time until I explained what I was looking at.
By the time I found out where we were—139 out of 149 countries, for those who subscribe to fake news—my friend had stopped smiling too. We looked at each other in confusion, desperately Googling information about UN executives we could reach out to, trying to find an email address for the Secretary-General so we could register our outrage at this blatant lie being peddled to the rest of the world.
The report supposedly focused on the effects of COVID-19 and how people fared. It allegedly looked at the structure and quality of people’s lives and evaluated how governments had dealt with the pandemic. It claimed to have in-person and telephone samples for our country, correlated with factors including social security and GDP, to arrive at its results.
That is when I began to feel a little more reassured, because it proved the report was based upon information that was obviously flawed. Everyone in India knows we handled the COVID-19 pandemic better than any country on Earth. A cursory look at group WhatsApp chats from the period would have informed the creators of this report that their data was at odds with reality. We stood outside our balconies to fight the virus. We clapped, set off fireworks at a specific time to generate vibrations long before scientists figured out how this could work. We even showered healthcare workers with flower petals by helicopter. If this didn’t prove how committed we were to handling the pandemic, nothing else could.
I have thought about this report for a few days now and can only conclude that it has been created out of spite, to make the rest of the world look better at India’s expense. We should have been among the first countries on that list because everyone knows we are happy. Our government told us we could expect better days a few years ago and has also stuck to a few of its promises. Yes, there were a few mishaps with the economy that led to crippling losses, avoidable deaths, and the decimation of our middle class, but omelettes cannot be made without breaking a few eggs. We smiled through the havoc because we had each other, which was all that ever mattered.
It wasn’t all bad news. In 2019, apparently, India was ranked 140th. We climbed a whole spot up, showing the people of Lesotho, Botswana, Rwanda, Zimbabwe, and Afghanistan what true happiness really looked like. If we manage to sustain this winning streak, climbing a spot each year, the possibility of cracking the Top 10 list within a mere century is already high. That is the message I intend to take away from this biased report: that India will deal with propaganda the way it dealt with the pandemic—through grit, determination, and supportive tweets from Indian film stars like Amitabh Bachchan and foreigners like Akshay Kumar.
There was another silver lining: Pakistan. Apparently, it ranks 105, a mere 34 spots ahead of us, and yet another reminder that our politicians constantly have our well-being in mind. They have routinely exhorted millions of us to leave India and go to that country, and the reason has finally begun to make sense.
When some of us are asked to go to Pakistan, it isn’t because those asking us to leave are driven by bigotry or prejudice. It is a suggestion, not a request, because what they want us to do is find happiness. If the people of Pakistan are a lot happier than we are supposed to be, it is only natural that those who care for us will want us to experience that too.
When he isn’t ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
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The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper.
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