Twitter gaya. Jitter aaya

So much faltu charcha over Twitterwitter when everybody and his chhacha knows that Twitter ki maut is round the corner Twitter is on life support Kabhi bhihellip kuch bhi ho sakta hai So Will the sky fall down Will the duniya stop spinning Will Ranveer Singh calm down and finally start dressing like ahellip like a hellip I dunnohellip regular garden variety superstarTwitter zinda hai insist diehards who cannot envisage a life beyond this insidious invidious incestuous social media platformPersonally speaking I have been reasonably active on the microblogging site since November 2009 I follow 39 accounts and have a respectable following of 25mn Yes I am one of the early birds And I have the precious blue tick mark for free without asking for it I am neither an addict nor a critic Twitter is a small part of what I do as a professional writer I experience and exhibit zero Twitterdependency and I will certainly not go into withdrawal if it vanishes tonightTwitterrsquos ownership is not my concern either Kisne becha kisko or kyonmdashwhat difference does it make I am not Cristiano Ronaldo who last week created an earth shattering record of being the first person in the world to cross the staggering 500mnfollower mark Thatrsquos called muscle And muscle pays rich dividends And no Twitter celebrities are not called Twitts They are called rich Fortunes have been made by smarties like the Kardashians who knew how to game the platform and make serious bucks from it almost literally since the time they were in their diapers But herersquos the thing No matter which personality aces Twitter it will always be associated with the rise and fall and rise of one manmdashDonald Trump If a single lesson was learnt by the rest of the buddhus trying to shut him down it was this Twitter isnrsquot for the faint hearted You cannot be a wuss on Twitter Donald is no wussy boy He used Twitter like a sledge hammer to flatten and shame opponents Notoriety on Twitter is a badge of honour Getting banned by Twitter is like winning a social media NobelThatrsquos the thing about itmdasheither you take yourself and your ldquoTwitter powerrdquo a bit too seriously or you have fun with it I chose the latter I tweeted whenever I felt like tweeting on whichever topics interested me Very random Minus any agenda There was never any compulsion No pressure I didnrsquot bother with what was trending or who was going viral I didnrsquot want to get mental Most importantly I did not engage with trolls Or anyone for that matter Tweet and be damned remains my motto And just as well Friends sometimes take sadistic pleasure in repeating reams of abuse that some of my tweets generate They are astonished when I laugh and shrug it off Come onmdashwho is dumb enough to get into a tutumeinmein with anonymous idiots Itrsquos important to stay on top of Twitter and not allow it to dabao youSome tweets have landed me in serious trouble Thatrsquos a part of the deal It goes with Twitter territory Even if a user shares dental records or something equally innocuous there will be fools out there ready to post nasty comments But hey if you want to go public with your dentures itrsquos your businessTwitter scares a lot of people When acquaintances pompously declare lsquoOhhellip I stay miles away from Twitter and all these intrusive platformsrsquo it generally means they are chicken and cannot handle backlash Itrsquos true one cannot be thin skinned and still hack it on Twitter For most itrsquos a damnifyoudoanddamnifyoudonrsquot conundrum I tweet therefore I amhellip is the new version of Descartes If that makes you uncomfortablehellip leave it The same people secretly snoop and stalkhellip which makes them sneaks I hate sneaks Khullam khulla works best Understand the platform Donrsquot waste your time trying to preach about its dangerous impact on the world Propaganda is propaganda Even propaganda about Twitter being propagandistTwitter is replaceable Like all else Another monster will soon take over and rule the world Transistor radios died a natural death We didnrsquot We will joke remember the time we thought ldquoIf you arenrsquot on Twitter you donrsquot existhelliprdquoNot everybody feels the need to do a Full Monty on Twitter You can opt for the Dance of the Seven Veils The choice is always yours And thatrsquos what makes Twitter acceptable to me That wordmdashchoice Privacy issues Do they even exist We surrendered our right to privacy decades ago Nothing but nothing about our lives is lsquoprotectedrsquo Accept thatmdashand tweet away You have nothing to lose but your temper You should lose that on something far worsehellip like pricey clumsily made sushi which falls apart before you can pick it upIs Twitter a beast Undeniably A tameable beast Nah Twitter can be your personal beastmdasheven a loveable one Twitter is slutty and seductive Twitter can be a Bff A place to vent A showoffrsquos favourite podium A narcissistrsquos ultimate turn on Every performing monkeyrsquos stage of choice A strip tease artistersquos dream You have to be badtameez and besharam to be on Twitter Remember in the overcrowded Twitter hamam everybody is nanga Including Elon Musk Marne do saala Itrsquos khel khatam Move over Twitter Hello JitterShobhaa De is a leading author columnist and social commentator