Nehal Parekh, Senior Director of Programmes at Arpan, that deals with topics around child sexual abuse, says some parents hesitate in talking about personal safety, but need to level up
Nehal Parekh
Educating children about personal safety, and safe and unsafe touches requires carefully curated age-appropriate content and effective communication. Nehal Parekh, Senior Director of Programmes at Arpan NGO, emphasises that these conversations must start early, at around four years of age.
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“In our training sessions, we talk about private body parts, tell the kids what they are, and how a touch can be safe or unsafe. We also about key concepts like saying no and getting away from an unsafe situation, seeking help from a trusted adult. Its extremely important to reiterate to children that its never their fault. It is important to rationalise with children rather than just telling them what’s what,” she explains.
One of the key strategies Arpan employs is using age-appropriate content. For older children along with the above key messages, the lessons expand to include topics such as safe and unsafe relationships, peer pressure, bullying, internet safety, and personal boundaries. “We even touch upon the nuances of POCSO law—but only for the higher age groups,” Parekh notes.
To ensure children understand these concepts without confusion, Arpan uses role plays, small classroom activities, and story-based modules that resonate well with children. “What is safe and unsafe is taught to children through these activities, and they then choose whether it’s safe or unsafe. Supervisors confirm their choices, helping to develop their skills in identifying unsafe touches,” she says. The goal is to make these lessons relatable and memorable, enabling children to recognise and respond to unsafe situations effectively.
However, Parekh acknowledges that teaching children about personal safety isn’t without its challenges, especially when it comes to involving parents and teachers. Since children spend a significant amount of time at home and school, parents and teachers must be part of the process. Arpan conducts sessions with both groups, focusing on the basics of dos and don’ts, how to identify signs of distress, and the importance of communication. “Communication is an absolute key role that parents can help with,” Parekh says. But she also notes that cultural norms in India, where obedience is often valued above all, can make it difficult for children to speak out, especially when the abuse is by a known adult. “Children often fear that they may not be trusted, will be punished or scolded, and their anxiety levels are very high in such cases,” she explains. Parents and children need to create an environment where children feel safe to come and share.
Interestingly, Parekh observes that the challenges often lie more with adults than with children. “Children are quite open to learning all this. The challenge is with adults. The general hesitation is that abuse can’t happen in our families or schools, and there are biases related to socio-economic status,” she points out. Despite these challenges, there has been significant progress over the years. “Compared to 15 years ago, we are doing far better. Eight to ten out of 100 schools would allow us to conduct such sessions back in the day. Today, it’s come to the level that we are invited.
Still, some parents, while open to these discussions, lack the confidence to initiate them. “That hesitation is a big challenge,” Parekh says. Yet, she remains optimistic, saying that “it’s not rocket science” and any adult can learn to talk to children about personal safety. She urged parents and teachers to use Arpan’s resources that are simple, age appropriate and impactful to initiate conversations with their children on this sensitive but very important topic.
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