Can buy me love * terms and conditions apply

This reporter is the kind of person to order the bluecoloured chilli icecream When the Intimacy Curator announced that they were training men to be boyfriends you could rent of course we wanted one please The news that men are being trained to be boyfriends was more exciting than the fact one could rent themIn our social milieu women are coached to be partners before they can walk and men of my generation X may learn it after a harsh demise of a marriage That they could be learning what women look for now emotionally and intellectually filled me with perverse delightA bit about me Myself 44 single CISHet woman with low tolerance for human beings Online dating apps do not hold appeal because writing for a living makes writing to lure a chore Plus I have discovered the biggest secret the world keeps from women A life with yourself and an animal or three is a deep reserve of contentment and peace My primary relationship is with my friends who look after my emotional wellbeing with the regularity of the neighbourhood andawallah My talents and labourmdashemotional domestic financial and physicalmdashare only up for exchange with someone who can enhance the rich fulfilling life I have painstakingly built Any man will have to match the care and wealth of my primary relationship with my friend Mukta Raut who is most interested in my internal landscape If you sniggered at this you are exactly the kind of manchild that women glue their knees together atRahul letrsquos call him comes with a rate card R4000 for an online date of one hour Rs 15000 for two hours of platonic cuddling every additional hour is available at Rs 10000 A dating surrogacy experiencemdashwhich could be useful to get back into the game after termination of a longstanding or traumatic relationshipmdashcomes for Rs 80000 and covers 12 dates over three monthsA cognitive undertow Women are coached to be partners to brothers fathers and future husbands early on It becomes instinctive to listen without hijacking a conversation to know what our friends are not saying when they are saying a lot and nothing at all Acts of love and service come naturally To make extra thaleepith for your neighbour To compliment a colleague To buy a masalaed ripe peru for a friend when you see it because she likes them How easily we could monetise these skillsBut imagine being a girlfriendtorent How unsafe how disreputableI book an offline date Itrsquos Rs 5000 for two hours Rs 3000 per hour after that I will be paying the bill though my date offers to go Dutch We decide to meet in Bandra West to match my work in Bandra East This is dating in our metropolis We change railway lines only for true love And to progress into a serious relationship my suitor must be willing to venture into my native Navi Mumbai and give in to the charms of long walks in the mangroves to see my favourite treeTherersquos an intensive form to fill beforehand through which I can customise whether my Rahul will wear formals or casuals athletic chic or smart casuals down to the colours facial hair details and of course the recreational activities we will undertakeI think the date is for 8 pm at 645 pm actormodelentrepreneur Akshay Jha tells me he has arrived at Bandstand where we are to meet at 7 pm I apologise for my tardiness and he sweetly replies ldquoItrsquos okay I enjoy waitingrdquoI have just paid a man to be excited and interested in me to put it plainly And I would have appreciated verbal foreplay during the day to ease the awkwardness of meeting a complete stranger I would have liked a reminder as all my girlfriends give earlier in the day Some form of lsquoBandstand na 7 pmrsquo It would indicate he was excited to meet me Irsquom cute through crudeAkshay is a nice balance of lighthearted conversationalist and minutely observant without being intense or seeming forced We hug upon meeting and his palm lingers a blink longer on my waist distinguishing in my mind an embrace from the warm asexual greeting between friendsWe go to Mount Mary the walking easing my social awkwardness Twentythree years of being the one asking questions has left me feeling exposed when I am the subject of interest And Akshayrsquos conversation skills are exemplary He starts by talking about his college days leaving gaps for me to add to the conversationAnd while he asks plain safe questions he asks them differently So what did you dream of when you were in school Who were your idols We talk about me growing up on a tiny unglamorous island in the Arabian Gulf unremarkable until Michael Jackson moved there followed by F1 He shares charming stories about growing up in Nairobi without lowkey bragging ldquoI as a nineyearold thought the only countries worth going to were Abroad Vilayat or Videsh Yeh Africa kya hota hairdquo He asks me about my goals for the year and cheers me on when I say lsquoMake more moneyrsquo There are no compliments about my looks nor consolatory kneejerk responses like lsquoBut you donrsquot look itrsquo when I mention my age 44 years What I am most grateful for is that there is no talk about how expensive his car or phone is or the size of his holidaycity home Instead he slips in an authentic one that catches me off guard We talk about how much time in nature helps angry dogs modulate their behaviour and how Cinderella was my favourite Disney princess because of her power to speak to animals and have all those various nonhuman friends ldquoWere you always this kindrdquo he asks lightly Irsquom surprised at being and feeling seen not a feeling men evoke easily in meAnd quickly we turn to the menu at the Taj Mahal Tea House and delightfully agree to order the most outrageous things on it A kulfi choux a frothy Kashmiri saffron chai and a Matcha rose chai ldquoThis is going to be awfulrdquo I mock ldquoNo itrsquos going to be amazingrdquo he saysHe has picked two places for us and made reservations a foresight I appreciate As we walk about he casually asks whether I am a tea or coffee person and says he has a reservation at the Tea House I am grateful for not being steered to a Starbucks or Third Wave and certainly no cleaneating sourdough bread haven where our date would be street theatre I am guilty of observing couples in all these places for entertainment and do not wish for the tables to be turned ldquoWe have a reservationrdquo he tells the steward as we walk in and then whispers to me ldquodoesnrsquot it feel nice to say thatrdquo Yes yes it doesWe laugh we talk on a plethora of subjects What role can we play to mitigate communal intolerance What is our purpose How he puts his exrsquos name and number on feedback forms in restaurants how she knows he does this and all he says is ldquoI was missing yourdquo I realise I had held my breath for a sob story about his ex but instead he speaks of her playfully and positivelySelfpity is extremely una ttractive Akshay makes me think about what I want to know How have you alchemised lifersquos trials and tribulations How do you season daily life with mirth and purpose Who are the loves of your life How do you love Not what car you drive but how many dogs leap into it happily How many little people consider you an ally Where is your favourite tree What will be your legacy What part of you are you working on How comfortable are you with discomfort What are your relationships Do you have a mentor Are you one Are you the safety net for a friendrsquos home loan Listed as herhis emergency contact The one she shares the ride details with on Uber Can you run a home Is it a safe space for others Do you insist on beauty in the little things Does work excite you Are people happy to see youI know this seems a tall order I told you single living has spoilt me I have all of this Why would I settle for less Why would I settle at allAkshay lightly ticks many of these boxes He is not my physical type and there is no fear of attraction And crucially maybe intentionally he does not seem attracted to me There is no flirting Before I see him off he hands me a bamboo plant in ceramic pot ldquoI got you a presentrdquo he says ldquoIt doesnrsquot need too much care not that I am assuming you donrsquot have what it takesrdquoWe say good bye Thatrsquos the last I hear from him My girlfriends have spoilt me I have to text them when I reach home My friend G well aware of how much I hate the phone categorically tells me she will not sleep until I let her know I am home All of us like my friend Barkha Menghani with whom threehour breakfasts are booked once a month text each other after we meet saying what a good time we had It takes the form of ldquoIrsquom sorry I ate most of your sandwichrdquo or ldquoNext time we try the other cafeacuterdquo but itrsquos to let each other know we enjoy youItrsquos our common complaint that men donrsquot text afterMen will gain more through this enterprise of being trained to be good company Consider that it now falls upon them to educate train and adapt themselves to bring equal skills to the table to care for their families forge partnerships build an aspirational lifestyle raise children or pets and be copilots through lifeHere are front row seats to know what women really want right now and wise Rahuls should take notes and read and reread themKey rules of engagement when renting thinspNo physical touch Hand holding can be requested but the professional has the right to refuse thinspA romantic lsquomoodrsquo and emotional connect can only be created for the duration of the session thinspCommunication only via emailmdashno exchange of phone numbers nor social media profiles thinspBoyfriend will be sober do not offer intoxicants thinspThe professional reserves the right to refuse service and will decline any action at their discretion thinspEnsure adequate hygiene including teeth brushed prior to appointment all clothing freshly laundered and both parties freshly showered thinspIf either party feels unsafe or uncomfortable the session may be stopped thinspThe Intimacy Curator TIC cannot be held liable for any incidents thinspThe client assumes responsibility for their safety and wellbeingWhat women want from rahulsThe Intimacy Curator let us speakmdashthrough the veil of technologymdashto women who have engaged their services in various cities Here arethe storiesTherapist 45 Divorced BhopalI was looking for safety and courage I grew up in a very conservative household where even talking to boys my age was prohibited My marriage was abusive and post divorce I was afraid to interact with men in person It was given that men just wanted sex and due to trauma I wasnrsquot ready for physical intimacyI just wanted to talk with a man who wasnrsquot from my social circles to have someone look at me with kindness and have a casual conversation where it wouldnrsquot be dirty or bad to talk to the opposite gender Where I would be able to talk about myself To have a man treat me well without ulterior motives Where I felt in control of my experienceI booked an online date and he was actually interested in what I like and had an emotional quotient that matched his intelligence It was like an Active Listening Therapy session I would book a date again whenever I feel I need to be reminded that I deserve to be happy and treated with respect and when I want to explore myself in a safe settingFinancial Analyst 30 Single MumbaiI needed a reboot after a bunch of dates left me feeling like I needed a personal cheerleader Men either come with baggage of their exes and keep on crying about how stressful they were or they come on a date with sex on their mind Irsquom not averse to sex but that canrsquot be the only thing to exchange I wanted an afternoon with someone who makes me feel special Who could spot all the good things in meThe experience made me feel that there is hope but will we get nice experiences only when we pay Do we need to pay to feel safeAdvertising Professional 33 Single MumbaiI HAD always dreamt of paying for a male escort Men do it all the time why canrsquot we I wanted to invite him home but that was against the rules so I called him my best friendrsquos home where a couple of other friends were present Initially I thought this was a cover up service for gigolos so we planned to make him strip and all Poor fellow kindly told us that this is not that type of service but he would be happy to go out with us and dance with his clothes on We spent an hour at home laughing and headed to a bar After a couple of hours he left because my friends and I were high We started feeling a little ashamed for objectifying him and treating him like a toy All my friends liked him and he really tried to entertain usI have wanted to approach escorts before but didnrsquot get a safe vibe all of them were creepyWriter 43 Divorced MumbaiI just wanted a good time without the commitment drama Irsquod just had a divorce and wanted to feel free to romance because I felt rusty Irsquod been a bit insecure about my looks and dating again Itrsquos not like Irsquom getting any younger And I canrsquot trust men on dating apps theyrsquove lost the art of romance Also I neededwriting inspirationI told him what I liked but didnrsquot want to make the choices He picked me up in a Mercedes That I didnrsquot ask for it just happened to be his car After dinner he took me for a drive along Marine Drive I felt golden It was exactly what I neededndashcarefree vibes a good laugh romance on the roll andzero stressFashion designer 28 PartneredI needed a plus one to a friendrsquos wedding My boyfriend and I are in a longdistance relationship and Irsquom not even sure where itrsquos going People keep asking me what I am doing in it and I didnrsquot want to look desperate and lost My date and I danced the night away and shared some hilarious moments To ensure he wore something good I rented his clothes It was like having a secret life that suddenly everybody saw He kept all the people asking stupid personal questions far away I felt very cheeky but he created a carefree and entertaining atmosphereIt felt like attending the event with a friend who knew how to turn any moment into a good time It fulfilled my desire for a fun and mysteriouscompanion The best partmdashmy boyfriend saw my Stories and got upset