Indian men on how they work and thrive in women-majority workplaces

When Anurag Maurya a Delhibased graphic designer wrote on X a week ago ldquoFinally joined a company with no women and all my colleagues are 40 in age No drama no politics Apne kaam se kaamrdquo it drew many eyeballs onlineMen and women both rallied in support of women in the comments section But there were also posts by hundreds of men agreeing with and even congratulating Mauryamdashproof that the stereotype of ldquowomen bring drama to the workplacerdquo still prevails across workplacesAnd what does this ldquodramardquo entail Gossip emotional outbursts ldquoover minor issuesrdquo and disagreements over ideasmdashthese were a few recurring themes that came up when Sunday midday posed the question to corporate executives both men and women The bigger question though is whether a man would be labelled ldquodraamebaazrdquo for the same actions A man talking about a celebrity wonrsquot be called a gossip hersquos merely making small talk A man who stands by his ideas in a meeting is considered assertive a woman in the same scenario might be called ldquoabrasiverdquo or ldquobitchyrdquoKavya JoseThe problem lies in patriarchal conditioning to see men as ldquostoic and strongrdquo and women as ldquoemotional and weakrdquo It stems from a fundamental lack of understanding of emotional expressionmdashsomething men largely shy away from says Nikhil Taneja cofounder and CEO of Yuvaa a youth media and research organisationldquoWhen women communicate openly about their feelings itrsquos often labelled as gossip or drama because men arenrsquot used to that level of vulnerabilityrdquo says Taneja who has spent years building a workplace that prioritises empathy inclusivity and open communicationHe points out that men conditioned to suppress their emotions often struggle to express themselves unless theyrsquore in informal settings like chai breaks or drinks ldquoWomen create safe spaces to talk openly and thatrsquos a strength not a weakness Gossip in a way is healthymdashitrsquos a form of emotional releaserdquoPiciStockTaneja highlights the irony of corporate spaces where men are often the ones perpetuating ldquodramardquo by engaging in office politics to impress their superiors Women on the other hand hardly speak up too busy figuring how to survive in a maledominated world that wasnrsquot designed for themSexual harassment remains a huge divide between the sexes in the workplace with male coworkers often complaining that women are ldquooverly sensitiverdquo and they ldquooverreact to jokesrdquo or ldquofriendlyrdquo gestures Men may claim that they have become overly cautious around women after MeToo but just a year after the movement a 2018 study by the Delhibased Martha Farrell Foundation found that 80 per cent of Indian women continued to face harassment at work In 2020 another survey of professional women in India had similar findingsmdash75 per cent women had reported workplace sexual harassment during their careerIn the years since human resources teams across organisations have held harassment sensitisation sessionsmdashor ldquohow to behaverdquomdashfor employees The pushback from women and HR might have prompted men to put on their best behaviour but itrsquos done grudgingly at timesA male midseniorlevel HR professional at a renowned company in the city tells us ldquoI need to mind my body language and tone when interacting with them women Most women are very sensitive about how you behave around them If yoursquore too friendly that also creates the wrong impression I just donrsquot know how to act around themrdquoThis otheringmdashreferring to women as ldquothemrdquo as though theyrsquore extraterrestrialmdashcoming from an HR professional no less speaks volumes about how far we still are from achieving true decency at the workplace ldquoI canrsquot speak or be myself around female colleagues the way I can with my male peersrdquo the HR executive addsHR professional and policymaker Kavya Jose who has shaped policy at several MNCs believes that while societal conditioning needs improvement responsibility at the ground level also lies with organisations ldquoCompanies need to take proactive steps to infuse diversity equity and inclusion DEI into their culturesrdquo she says ldquoThis means more DEI training more support for underrepresented groups and a commitment to breaking down gender stereotypesrdquoldquoInclusion and better behaviour by male colleagues comes laterrdquo says Jose ldquoWomen must first get opportunitiesrdquo Her suggestion only reinforces the belief that many men struggle to interact with women in general let alone collaborate with themJose says certain industries are heavily genderskewed ldquoIn engineering yoursquoll see more men while in HR PR and communications women tend to dominate the fields So first itrsquos about creating balance and opening doors for women in maledominated fieldsrdquo she explainsDespite what Maurya has to say Sunday midday spoke to men across demographics who have thrived in womendominated teams Their secret Keeping an open mind8037Indian women continued to face harassment at work in 20207537Women reported workplace sexual harassment during their careerSource Equal Employment Opportunity CommissionLeading with sensitivityAnuraag Gupta 41CA and cofounder of The Other CircleThe cofounder of The Other Circle a PR agency with a nearly allwomen team Anuraag Gupta describes himself as an ldquoanomalyrdquo in a womanled industry ldquoPublic relations is a womanled business by designrdquo he says For Gupta working in a predominantly female team has been a lesson in sensitivity emotional clarity and adaptabilityldquoAs a man in a womenmajority teamrdquo he says ldquoI have learned to be more conscious of how my words and actions landrdquo This heightened sensitivity around women he believes stems from a deep respect for the challenges they navigate dailymdashboth at work and at homeIn his 10 years in the industry he has never witnessed ego clashes or ldquocatfightsrdquo With women in his firm who he says are collaborative and foster a ldquodramafree environmentrdquo decisionmaking is a collective effort A ldquomakercheckerrdquo approach two pairs of eyes to verify work ensures every voice is heard ldquoAll our decisions are properly vetted whether directed by me sister and cofounder Aakanksha or another team memberrdquo he explainsOne of the most striking differences between working with men and women he notes is the emphasis on empathy ldquoIn finance my previous field decisions were often numbersdriven But here my team brings a humanitarian angle to the tablerdquo he says For instance when a client negotiation required flexibility his team advocated for understanding the clientrsquos personal circumstancesmdasha perspective Gupta admits he might have overlookedWorking in a nearly allwomen workspace has not only made him a better leader but a better husband too claims GuptaDismissing the stereotypes Gupta adds ldquoMy team has never pulled the lsquoIrsquom a woman I know betterrsquo cardrdquoNo of women in team 45Flipping the lensDr Rajeshwari S Punekar 46Senior scientistRajeshwari S Punekar a product group lead with a rare combination of clinical background and expertise in epidemiology and health economics is one of the few women in her field ldquoYou can count on your fingers how many women there are in this field in Indiardquo she saysWith 20 years of experience in the US and India she has largely worked with male colleagues Currently she is the only woman in a team of ten Though the senior leadership in her organisation is entirely male she manages five direct reportsAfter returning to India to look after her parents she recalls an incident at her new workplace where one of her direct reports quit after she joined the team because he did not want to report to a woman She says cultural differences result in such workplace dynamics ldquoThere have been times when male colleagues have excluded me from meetings Irsquod like to believe it wasnrsquot intentional but perhaps they thought I didnrsquot have enough inputsrdquo she saysBut she believes mixedgender teams are much more considerate ldquoWomen bring unique perspectives to the table but they also face unique challengesrdquo she saysReflecting on her experience in the US she says ldquoThere men are more supportive at home sharing household chores which naturally makes them more understanding and empathetic at workrdquo She adds ldquoIn India however you have to verbalise issues openly and ask for accommodation Itrsquos not that the intention is badmdashitrsquos just how men are brought up hererdquoOn the stereotype of women bringing ldquodramardquo to the workplace Punekar asks ldquoWhat do men mean by drama Is it emotional expression If yes then I havenrsquot seen women in professional settings doing that But if wersquore talking about politics I think itrsquos more prevalent when there are more men aroundmdashand itrsquos often very subtle If women engage in politics theyrsquore usually vocal about it And letrsquos be honest therersquos no leadership without politicsrdquo she quipsFor young women entering maledominated fields Punekar suggests ldquoThink like a man but never lose the essence of being a womanmdashespecially in India Learn to think like a man when proposing solutions or making suggestions Itrsquos necessary if you want to climb the career ladder in such environmentsrdquoOnly woman in a team of 10Thriving with 9037 womenGaurav Dubey 26Account executiveFresh out of college Gaurav Dubey landed his first job as an account executive in a renowned public relations firm Soon after joining he found out that over 90 per cent of his colleagues were women Three years later working with a predominantly female team has been ldquoa very enlightening experiencerdquo he saysFor the past year he has been the only male member of his team Growing up with an Indian Revenue Service officer for a mother Dubey had always seen ldquowomen balancing professional and personal responsibilities with gracerdquoGaurav Dubey with his colleagues Sowmya Pai Aditi Patil and Megha Nambootiripadu at adfactors PR His larger team consists of 13 women and 8 men PicAtul KambleThough he hasnrsquot worked with a menheavy team he feels ldquoIn both mixedgender or maledominated teams conversations tend to be direct and focused on problemsolvingrdquo he explains ldquoBut in a womenmajority team therersquos greater emphasis on collaboration and considering multiple perspectives before making decisionsrdquoThis he believes has helped him navigate disagreements more effectively ldquoWhen there are more opinions on the table it leads to better decisionmakingrdquo he says He says his team is ldquoempathetic and understanding which creates a safe space for open communicationrdquo Asked about workplace politics Dubey was quick to dismiss itNikhil Taneja cofounderCEO YuvaaldquoPolitics isnrsquot about gendermdashitrsquos about individuals and the environmentrdquo he says adding ldquoThe assumption that a womenmajority environment is less efficient and more emotionally charged is wrong Differences in opinion arise regarding certain processes or decisions but the discussions are held to consider the views of every team memberrdquoHis advice to men entering similar environments is ldquoBe openminded and empathetic Recognise the strengths that diversity brings to the tablerdquoNo of women in team 3Two worlds from a queer lensPraful Baweja 44Marketer senior publicistPraful Bawejarsquos career revolves around two contrasting worlds the maledominated events space and the womendriven industry of media PR and communicationsIn the events industry Baweja says ldquoOn the ground itrsquos 95 per cent men from security to planning But in PR and communications the teams almost entirely comprise womenrdquoFor him womenmajority teams bring a level of emotional intelligence that is often missing in maledominated environments ldquoIn an allwomen setup therersquos a deeper emotional and professional intimacyrdquo he says ldquoTheyrsquore not just colleagues theyrsquore confidantes This creates a safe space for open communication and collaborationrdquoHe contrasts this with his experiences in maledominated teams ldquoWith men itrsquos more about staying in your lane Therersquos an unspoken rule lsquoI donrsquot mess with you you donrsquot mess with mersquo If you suggest improvements it can come off as micromanagement which creates a suffocating and toxic environmentrdquo Therersquos also a sense of being judged in maledominated spaces ldquoEven in the best teams there is always an undercurrent of judgment that can affect decisionmakingrdquo he explainsldquoWith women you donrsquot have to keep your defences up You can be your authentic self which is liberating But even then there can be exceptionsrdquo Asked about Mauryarsquos post Baweja says ldquoThe socalled lsquodramarsquo is perceived due to resistance to open communicationrdquoNo of women in team 3In an allwomen team at middayWhen yoursquore raised in a hypermasculine environment the fascination with ldquobeing a manrdquo may fade quicklymdashif not completely then at least enough to stop it from defining your personality Take for instance this writer who grew up surrounded by men in uniform But working with an allwomen team like the producers of this edition is somewhat opposite of that I once read Dr Gary Barker a developmental psychologist studying boyhood and masculinity who said ldquoAll the good men in the world are walking around wearing invisible placards that say lsquoAwaiting Instructionsrsquordquo I try and stick to that here