Mumbai, marriage, aur yeh mehengai: How couples are struggling with finance

Prerna Gupta 38 and her husband have put their international trip on the backburner for a while The couple who have been married for 11 years are battling an inflation rise while her husbandrsquos pay hike barely registersldquoWhen we got married I thought that by the time we reach 40 we will be retired and living in a farmhouserdquo Gupta tells us over the phone laughing at her own naivete Gupta is a marketing professional working independently while her husband is an investment banker who has the more stable income of the two ldquoWe are living in a twoBHK because in case our parents want to come over we can always have a room for them So that comes to Rs 67000 in Chembur I understand that someone might see us and think we have a lot of money we do come from a place of privilege but the struggle is realrdquo adds GuptaThe couple is the classic example of DINKS doubleincomenokids and say that from combine income of Rs 2253 lakh per month they are left with only Rs 50000 in hand that they can use for themselves The only solace is an annual twoweek road trip the couple takes with their dogldquoWhen we realised that the world trip is not going to happen soon then decided that we will at least go for a twoweek road trip once a yearmdashbut that is pretty much all we can afford right now There are no small trips in the middle to let off some steamrdquo says GuptaAs with anything that builds up over a while one day there is an inevitable blast causing the couple to give vent to their stress and have a fight about almost nothing ldquoWe have come to realise that we are having the same fight over our finances on a loop and unlike other issues we are not reaching any resolution As a result there is this uncomfortable unresolved thing at the back of our mind and itrsquos just a different kind of a strain than maybe other fightsrdquo she says candidlyGupta says that contrary to the common misconception she and her husband do not go to fancy dinners and parties ldquoI donrsquot even remember the last time I went to a fancy restaurant to eat we are so busy and when we have the money we prioritise other things A fancy meal is Rs 10000 at a good restaurant it feels like we just canrsquot catch a breakrdquo says GuptaRight now Gupta who works from home has been trying to upskill to an indepth animal training course but sounds frustrated as it is not happeningmdashagain due to the cost ldquoI have done smaller shorter courses but it has been crazy to do the longer one because it requires a certain amount of money that I am just unable to scrape together I hopehellip one dayrdquo she saysFrom one animal lover to another we hope for that dayRs 10000Cost of a good meal at an upscale restaurant which is a rare luxury for couples like the GuptasCostly comestiblesAs of October the consumer price index in India had climbed to a 14month high of 581 per cent primarily due to a spike in vegetable and edible oil prices according to the Ministry of Statistics and Programme Implementation MoSPIMonthly IncomeRs 225 lakh to 3 lakhThe big expensesRENT Chembur 2BHKRs 67000HELPRs 15500GROCERIESRs 20000DogRs 20000ElectricityRs 500010000Other overheads include investments policies transport to workLeft in hand withRs 50000Experts SpeakSuresh SadagopanldquoI understand that living in Mumbai is more expensive than most other cities due to its real estate marketrdquo says financial planner Suresh Sadagopan ldquoRent is not cheap and buying is a lifelong dream but more often than not I find that most of us when we get married have a sort of largerthanlife goal of what we want to achieve and sometimes we need to take a step back and reassess how we are really spending money More often than not we do not understand how much we are spending because of UPI and thatrsquos why you must find a workaround to understand how much you have spent every day in order to control the controllablesrdquo he addsTherapy talkDr Armaan PandayGiven the added strain of finances what are couples saying in therapyPsychiatrist Dr Armaan Panday says ldquoYes there is financial strainmdashbut it is not because couples arenrsquot making enough money In this era of plenty and consumerism financial goals are still a huge priority for almost everyone Even though most of the clients I come across are financially secure they worry about losing a job or not making more money The pressure of expenses imposed by a modern urban lifestyle is generally the cause Real financial strain like any other lifesituation is a test of the couplersquos resilience Healthy couples navigate that by supporting each other For example one partner may take up a job or quit their job to help the other Dysfunctional relationships deteriorate further with crisis As a professional I help couples repair their relationship with each other while they figure out ways to solve a financial problem Often though it is sufficient when a professional is able to give the couple a realistic idea about their financial wellbeing and adjust their financial goals and efforts to safeguard their mental healthrdquo