Maa in the mirror

Paromita Banerjee 37 Kolkatarsquos defiant textile purist wants to get one thing clear at the start of our telephonic interview ldquoAs a mother I want to look hotrdquo She says when she was carrying her first child in 2017 she didnrsquot buy any maternity clothes ldquoFor most part I found them options blahmdashweighty on the body light on style So I basically shopped for a size larger than usualrdquo Banerjee is mother to threeandahalfyearold EkantikaLast year an Instagram post by actor Anushka Sharma pregnant with her first child wearing a crop top over a tiedye dress expressedldquoNothing is more real and humbling than experiencing the creation of life in you When this is not in your control then really what isrdquoNishka Lulla Mehra styles the baby bump in a biker jacket and LBDAll mothers will agree that they lost power over multiple things as their bellies grew sleep the ability to see their feet with ease prepregnancy waist and hips In Banerjeersquos case she is no longer size XS nor does she fit into her favourite jeans ldquoBut I finally have curves and I love themrdquo Having said that she confesses that when she fit into prebirth tees and kurtas it felt like she had found herself againA column that coincided with Motherrsquos Day was the perfect nudge to launch a conversation about these exhilarating and occasionally unglamorous shifts in sartorial selfexpression that are at the heart of motherhood Itrsquos not about trends or pleasing other people itrsquos the special kind of light happiness you cling to when you see something and just know that it will flatter your new selfldquoBecoming a mother is an identity shift and one of the most significant physical and psychological changes I have experiencedrdquo says Nishka Lulla MehraAnd Nishka Lulla Mehra 35 will naturally do so in heels She still loves fashion But she thinks she no longer needs to dress up to show she is someone The Mumbai designer who made a debut at 18 decided to take time off from work while pregnant with Miraya two years ago ldquoI wasnrsquot in that mental space but I continued styling South Indian actors Tamanna Bhatia Shriya Saran and Kajal Aggarwalrdquo she saysHer current wardrobe is a clear shift from peppy pinks and prints and shapes that sit close to the body Today she reaches out for softer hues and slouchy shapes ldquoWith an interesting bustier maybe and subtle embellishmentsrdquo she laughs Clothes she thinks became the veneer masking her quiet selfdiscovery ldquoIt was an identity shiftrdquo Mehra admits sincerely ldquoand one of the most significant physical and psychological changes I have experiencedrdquoZai with Sohaya Misra ldquoI wore bodyhugging dresses throughout my pregnancy gave me an excuse to show off my bellyrdquoldquoShall I go on a dietrdquo is the ongoing conundrum for Sohaya Misra 44 since she had Zai now two years old ldquoI look at a bodyhugging dress in a magazine and I wonder when can I wear onerdquo says the designer behind the label Chola Misra understands the dilemma She would fit wonderfully into a pair of skinny jeans before she got pregnant The Keto diet had worked ldquoFor the first time I had a flat tummy And then the very next month I found out that I was pregnantrdquo It took unfiltered realisation and lots of selflove and care to accept a new mommy body Focusing more on health and fitness required a significant mental shift ldquoIrsquom comfortable with the fact that I might not have a flat stomach the stretch marks on my belly a reminder of the human being that grew inside merdquo Misra ruminatesNew Yorkbased Alexander Sacks MD examined the idea of matresance in an article for The New York Times The term refers to the process of becoming a mother with a focus on the womanrsquos identity transition rather than how the baby turns outKarishma Shahani Khan centre took a postshow bow with son Zayn and IRL mothers in August 2016 At the show titled Navya Khan also launched a range of compact baby carriersldquoMotherhood grounded merdquo says Karishma Shahani Khan 34 The Punebased designer encountered three milestone events in quick succession She returned home from London College of Fashion in 2010 got married in 2011 and launched her label KaSha in 2012 Before she could catch her breath Khan learned that she was pregnant This was one day before her show at Lakmeacute Fashion Week in March 2015 ldquoItrsquos been an emotionally charged journey sincerdquo she says She continued to work through the pregnancy proudly taking a postshow bow with a bump and returning to her studio in 40 days after giving birth to Zayn Her son now six accompanies her everywhere work trips to Paris Bangladesh and London and fashion weeks Itrsquos a lifestyle choice that has invited more flak than praise ldquoWhen I walked down the runway with Zayn who was three months old then sleeping in a baby carrier bag strapped around me I was accused of being a career woman and not caring for the wellbeing of my childrdquo Khan says Unfazed she collaborated with Kol Kol Baby Carriers to launch a line of ergonomic buckle carriers in natural fabricsBeing a mother translated to not only a more personalised relationship with her own wardrobe but also how Khan approaches design now To wit Khanrsquos collection titled Navya showcased in August 2016 was based on the simple idea of wonderment Motherhood inspired her to have fun with designing while reinforcing a fresh intent with textiles and textures and bringing value to clothes ldquoBut more importantly I was able to explore design through the eyes of a mother questioning clothes that are equal parts desire and functionrdquoWhile stuffy societal expectations do not spare the fathers itrsquos the women who tautologically have to endure the guilt of being a busy working mom ldquoAs mothers our lives and choices and relationships with ourselves are different How can we then generalise what makes a good or bad mother As designers we speak of sustainability in fashion but what about our mental sustainabilityrdquo Word of advice The first step is to put a stop to fretting over returning to prechildbirth bodies Instead focus on your mental health Consider your new relationship with clothes as experiences Accept the shift in terms of what you love and what works for you Yes priorities change but donrsquot use that as an excuse to make less of an effort This should not read as Add to Cart Look inside your current wardrobe and curate a compact assortment of mixandmatch reversible outfits that can accommodate multiple roles Throw in shirtdresses capes maxi dresses and structured jackets while you are at it