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Pop Talk
Updated On: 25 July, 2021 09:28 AM IST | Mumbai | Sucheta Chakraborty
A podcast started by two former colleagues and first-time dads brings the father’s perspective to the fore, in a culture where the mother’s role in parenting is far more defined
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Peter Kotikalapudi with four-year-old son Liam. Kotikalapudi says the pandemic taught him parenting all over again. Pic/Nimesh Dave
Peter Kotikalapudi remembers meeting colleague Nadir Kanthawala at digital marketing agency WATConsult a few years ago, where he says the average age of the employees was about 25. He found himself able to relate to Kanthawala, who had a six-month-old daughter. Kotikalapudi’s wife was in her last trimester at the time, and the two bonded over the fact that they were new fathers. The decision to share their experiences on a public platform and engage in conversations with other parents, however, came a few years later, with the duo ultimately launching Pops in a Pod in January 2020. There were few references to fall back on, they recall, as the dominant cultural conversation around parenting is generated by and for mothers. Added to this, was the social conditioning undergone by many men in India where they are traditionally assigned the role of the provider, the real hands-on parenting being the domain of the mother.
“We wanted to flip the script,” says Kanthawala, who believes that their steady involvement in their children’s lives and their day-to-day needs made the task easy. “We are two guys who don’t want to give you tips or advice. We are here to share our experiences.” Uppermost in this list of new learnings was the importance of planning. Parenting, he says, starts before the actual arrival of the baby. From finances and one’s personal sense of responsibility and readiness for the change, to compatibility with one’s partner, everything requires careful consideration. There will be sacrifices to be made and hence, preparation, both mental and circumstantial, is essential. Kanthawala says that the arrival of a child has taught him to be patient in a way he has never been before. Becoming a parent has also led to the discovery of the significance of sleep and how dearly he misses it. “Even now when my daughter is five, she wants to cuddle in the middle of the night. I wake up and then it takes an hour to go back to sleep. I end up resorting to screens, reading and watching, which only makes it worse.”
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