‘Teachers have a personal life’

A professor at Noidabased private university who requested not to be identified for this story quit her job last year when the faculty was asked to behave like lsquomothersrsquo to the students ldquoI am unmarried and probably donrsquot want children of my own Why should I be jag ki matardquo she asks Loss of respect restrictive lifestyle an archaic code of conduct for life in classrooms and out of them and on social media overbearing parents are some of the reasons that led the 33yearold to quit herwell paying jobThe professor had the privilege to be able to excuse herself from her claustrophobic role the assistant professor from St Xavierrsquos University Kolkata currently mired in a controversy over her social media feed was not so lucky She was allegedly forced to resign after a parent complained about his child looking at her swimsuitclad pictures on her private social media accountState Resource Associate at IIM Lucknow Sidrah Naiyer gets clicked with a few fellows she mentors She is discerning about whom to befriend and what to post on social mediaMany teachers and academics live two separate lives One for their students and their parents and the other for their inner circle which allows them to be who they are This comes at a cost like it has for the Kolkata professor who is now being sued by the university for R99 crore on the charge of damagingits reputationldquoIf I teach somewhere I canrsquot wear shorts at a beach Is that an offencerdquo questions Yogesh Kamdar course head of Journalism and Mass Communication at Mumbairsquos Xavier Institute of Communications XIC He is also a trustee and honorary secretary at Mani Bhavan Gandhi Sangrahalaya and believes that your religion political ideology and choice of clothes outside of classrooms has no bearing on your professional life Most teachers we spoke to agreedYogesh KamdarldquoTeachers do have a life of their ownrdquo says Anushi Dwivedi who teaches at a convent school in Lucknow ldquoThe life we live in school is quite different from the real one Students get to see that aspect of us when we go on school trips but not otherwiserdquoArchana Mehra visiting faculty at SVKMrsquos Usha Pravin Gandhi College of Arts Science and Commerce in Vile Parle was shocked by the Kolkata incident ldquoI put up whatever I feel like on social mediardquo says Mehra ldquoIf I am comfortable posting a picture of me dressed differently or holding a drink or a cigarette that is entirely up to merdquoAnushi Dwivedi has dealt with enough infatuated male students and feels teachers need to establish boundaries But she allows former pupils to befriend her on FacebookMehra has been teaching for 18 years and her private Instagram feed is a wholesome mix of funny and motivational quotes family pictures photos of her dog selfies with friends and colleagues and pictures of students She is approachable on social media and that is how Sunday midday first got in touch with her She doesnrsquot mind accepting lsquofollow requestsrsquo from students and also follows them backContrary to her Shreya Shetty discourages her students to connect with her on social media during her teaching tenure Shetty is an openly queer person who has an open profile She began teaching photography at a South Bombay college during the pandemic ldquoWhat goes on in my personal profile is my business even if I share it publiclyrdquo Shetty hopes that if a parent were to object to her the employing organisation would show some spine and support her ldquoThe content a teacher puts up on their personal social media profiles is not anybodyrsquos concern The educational institute can choose to comment or question on a professionals teaching ability not beyond thatrdquo Shetty prefers wearing Indian or Western formals and smart casuals because ldquothatrsquos what you wear in a professional environmentrdquoPiroja Shroff keeps her private life away from students and ensures none of them follow her on Instagram File picXIC Mumbai has a dress code restricting ldquorevealing clothesrdquo which is applicable to both students and teachers ldquoOutside the campus whatever you do is your choicerdquo says Kamdar He also adds that there is no harm in a teacher being friends on social media ldquoIf I want to keep in touch with you it is between us alone Who are others to dictate the terms We are becoming more and more intolerable as a societyrdquo he saysWhile Mehra believes that the college should step in after speaking to the parents in such situations Dwivedi feels parents should monitor their children and not blame the teacher Kamdar believes institutions should be pulled up ldquoInstitutes by and large are conservative while the individuals may be liberal However they must stand by the faculty in such situations If they donrsquot the staff must take them to courtrdquo he saysPiroja Shroff an educator and writer who guards her personal life says a lot of thought goes into deciding which exstudent can be allowed into your inner circle ldquoI strictly donrsquot accept any requests on Instagram On Facebook I have accepted requests from less than five exstudents and subconsciously that has led me to stop using the site as much I value my privacy a lot and keep my personal life privaterdquoDwivedi strictly does not allow current students to connect with her on social media ldquoA former pupil sent me nasty things on social media when she learnt that my daughter had a Muslim friendrdquo she says ldquoI blocked her We have to draw a line somewhere I keep my religious and political views out of the online space just so that students donrsquot react to itrdquoAs with the Kolkata professor teaching boys risks infatuation ldquoWe can sense if a student is crushing on usrdquo says Dwivedi ldquoI have taught in a boysrsquo school and a student would keep a broken piece of my glass bangle in his pocket I sat him down and talked to him about his hormonal changes and told him about the boundaries that he cannot crossrdquoMentoring about 60 fellows some of whom are the same age as her Sidrah Naiyer is careful that they donrsquot see her in any way other than as their mentor She is a state resource associate SRA at IIM Lucknow ldquoIt sounds illogicalrdquo she says sheepishly ldquoBut it feels unsafe to allow them to see other aspects of my liferdquo In July a bunch of fellows set up a friendly group video call with Sidrah A screenshot of it was later posted on Instagram captioned ldquoLate night chat with the SRArdquo ldquoA wellmeaning fellow told me I shouldnrsquot be part of such video calls because it tarnishes my image as a mentorrdquo she saysEventually Naiyer says what no one has Only women are at the receiving end of such unfair treatment