If you think of them as peers, it allows you to converse with them as people rather than potential dating partners. Also, give yourself time
Illustration/Uday Mohite
Is it normal to wonder about whether I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I am supposed to? We have been in a relationship for almost two years, but I still feel as if this is a casual thing that won’t evolve into something lifelong or very meaningful. I don’t know if he feels the same way because we never speak about these things, but it makes me concerned, as if I am wasting time when I should be trying to either make this stronger or find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am going to be 30 in two years, so this bothers me a lot more than it used to earlier. Please help.
Why aren’t you having this conversation with your boyfriend if it bothers you as much as you say it does? You have spent two years with him, and it’s okay to not feel a deep connection or attachment, but he is still the only one capable of having this discussion with you, if only so you can both come closer to figuring out where this is headed. If he feels the same way, it allows you both to think about what you want to do next. If he thinks this is something you should both work on, it gives you an opportunity to re-evaluate your expectations from the relationship. Either way, talking about it is the easiest way to try and come to terms with where you both stand.
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How do I overcome my anxiety around girls? I am always flustered and can’t have proper conversations with them, which is why I am still single. All my friends have girlfriends except for me. What can I do about this?
Start by treating girls as equals, rather than as members of the opposite sex you feel compelled to impress in any way. If you think of them as peers, it allows you to converse with them as people rather than potential dating partners. Also, give yourself time.
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