Friends say my gf flirts with them...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Some of my friends have been telling me things about my girlfriend that are starting to affect my relationship with her. They tell me she flirts with them when I'm not around, and they aren't sure if she is faithful to me. I trust her a lot, but these comments hurt because they make me feel as if I am too trusting and can be taken advantage of. I have never mentioned what my friends say to her, because I don't want her to hate them, but I feel as if I am pretending to be a loving, caring boyfriend with someone who may or may not appreciate me at all. Should I tell her what they're saying and confront her? If I do, she may lose respect for me, and our relationship may never recover. I am torn. Please help.
On the one hand, you say you trust her a lot, presumably because you know her, love her, respect her, and choose to be with her for specific reasons. On the other, your friends who probably have your best interests at heart, are causing you to doubt her. The only way you can resolve this is through communication, irrespective of how difficult it seems. If you don't address it, these thoughts will only mutate into something uglier and doom your relationship anyway. Air your doubts, give her the respect she deserves by allowing her to respond, and hope for the best. It is only by confronting difficult issues, rather than shying away from them, that a relationship can evolve and grow stronger.

My girlfriend loves me a lot, but I have been attracted to her younger sister for a long time and don't know what to do about this.
How exactly do you expect both sisters to respond if you end a relationship with one and profess your feelings for the other? If you don't love your girlfriend, you are doing her as well as yourself a disservice by not being honest. Tell her how you feel.

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