I want to get to know him better

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I get to know someone better if I want to get into a relationship? I think I like this guy, and I sense that he has begun to have feelings for me too, but I want to get to a place where I am comfortable enough to have that conversation with him. He and I work together and meet often, so chatting with him is not a problem. It's just hard to speak about personal things because I think we are both afraid of crossing some line. We work in different departments so I'm not worried about any awkwardness at the office, but I feel like I should get to know more about his life before I tell him how I feel? What do I do?
It feels as if you're already doing the right thing, by speaking as much as possible. Getting more comfortable and opening up takes time, but speaking about your personal lives may be easier outside an office environment. Suggest coffee, continue to try and get a sense of what he's like as a person, and allow this to evolve at its own pace until you feel like you're ready to talk about yourself. You know little about his personal life, and he presumably knows nothing about you either, which means this could go either way. Patience and communication go a long way, so stick to what you're doing.

My boyfriend lives in a city at the opposite end of the country, and we meet twice a year. This has been going on for two years and there is no long-term solution in sight. Should we end this relationship if we can't be together more often?
That depends upon how badly you both want this to work. If there is a way of arriving at some sort of compromise, the sooner you discuss it with your boyfriend, the better. If he isn't enthusiastic about making changes, this won't work. Why not talk about your individual expectations before making any decision?

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