We’ve reconnected after our break-up!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been thinking about my ex-boyfriend a lot lately, because we have been chatting on WhatsApp and are slowly coming to terms with why our relationship ended. We were together for almost three years before we split up, and there were many issues that made it impossible for us to consider being together anymore. We didn't speak for almost a year, until he messaged on my birthday a few months ago and we slowly reconnected. We chat a lot and, although we don't talk about getting back together, I think we both miss each other a lot. I don't know if this is a good idea and was wondering if people can get back together after a painful break-up. What can we do to avoid making any huge mistakes if we decide to do this?
Anyone can rekindle a relationship if the people involved are committed to making it work. As for huge mistakes, that really depends upon how you both look at the past, what you have learned from each other, and how comfortable you are with letting go of some things and resetting what you expect from each other going forward. There is no list of what you should or shouldn't do, because you are both adults and both perfectly capable of setting your own rules. The most sensible thing to do is take time for yourself and talk about everything you want to resolve before making any decisions. If you are both keen on getting back together, some time to yourselves can only be beneficial.

Is it cheating if my husband buys a female colleague perfume for her birthday? He says I am overreacting, but it is an intimate gift, and I don't know why he can't get her something less personal, like a book or something.
It's not cheating, but you should talk to him about it if it disturbs you. It also makes sense to think about why it disturbs you and ask yourself if you have genuine reasons to doubt him.

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