The case of change

As your favourite Sunday paper goes through a rehaul, six individuals tell Amita Amin-Shinde how change has bettered their lives

I was only 26 when I came to a crossroad where my girlfriend of three years whom I loved very much and who is two years elder to me, was facing parental pressure to tie the knot. I had financial restrictions. And house space was limited. My girlfriend, Josephine, was working as a teacher and earning only Rs 3,000 to 4,000 a month. But she convinced me that she could manage. Based on her confidence, we got married in May this year. Marriage has brought a change. We partied earlier, stayed out often and went away for weekends. All that indulgence has come down to once or twice a month. I miss my carefree life but I have never regretted my decision. Besides, Josephine is there to support me. And she has gelled well with my family of seven in a one-room kitchen house.

'I thought I would be judged'
Badal Thakker, 19
Architecture student
I came from Latur three years ago to study but I had a tough time adjusting to the city. It's difficult when people are desperate to judge you on superficial levels like language, clothes and lack of attitude. I felt as if everyone was waiting with a writing pad and pen, ready to strike me off the list. I thought of discontinuing my studies even. Then, as time went by, the frowns and indifference started to dissipate. I befriended a few students. It just takes one or two people to make that difference. Today, I have six-seven good friends. I even went to Norway on a student exchange programme. I interact with my neighbours every evening in the building compound; I have joined a gym and work for an NGO to keep away negative thoughts. Today, I can say, Mumbai is not a city you can't like.

'I had to live with my in-laws'
Snigdha Shah, 45
Dietician
My husband and I lived in the US for five years after marriage. Both our children were born there. But we moved back to India and into our in-laws house because it was our responsibility to care for our elders. I don't regret coming back. It's been six years now, and we are happy and secure. My kids are well cared for. Thanks to my in-laws, I have also started practising as a dietician. I don't have to worry about my kids being fed after school. The kids also get their dose of culture and morals from their grandparents. My mother-in-law also helps in the kitchen. Though we cannot call our friends home for dinner, we meet them for meals outside. Of course, we have our differences, which household doesn't, but my mother-in-law and I sort it out. I am close to her, and she insists that we go for plays together. We often do.

'We didn't want a baby then'
Jigar Parmar, 31
Construction business
Jilly and I had Rewa five years after our marriage. We didn't want a baby then. We wanted to travel, have our independence. But things changed around my sister's marriage in 2007. Jilly became pregnant. We were happy but I was also apprehensive. Rewa brought new realisations. Earlier, Jilly and I had our own space. Now everything is baby time. Sometimes, I end up sleeping on the couch. Our two-three holidays every year have been cut down to thinking if we can take the maid along. And Goa is the only place we can go to now. Jilly had to stay back home when she was feeding the baby. So even evenings out were limited. I've also changed as a person. I wasn't the protective sort, not towards my wife or my sisters. But with my daughter, I am protective. I drive slowly now, drink less and am generally more careful.

'My business meant legwork'
Ashwini Arya, 33
Art logistics support provider
About a year ago, my business of art logistics meant a lot of legwork. But ever since Facebook emerged, legwork's been reduced to almost size zero. Earlier, I had to travel from the western suburbs to my clients all over Mumbai, to give them presentations on how their precious vase can be transported from here to any part of the world. Today, all my clients are on Facebook. All they have to do is go to my site and check how the packaging is done. I am logged on all the time. Thanks to business via Facebook, I have clients in London and the US. Work comes from artists like Chintan Upadhyay and Ashish Balram Nagpal through the networking site. I get quality time at home. I don't mind the occasional work calls at home because I am not physically stressed out. Sitting at office, I have gone global!

'I had never cooked'
Anuya Jakatdar, 23
Assistant manager, mtv.com
I had never cooked till about a year ago. That's until I left for the US to study. Initially, I survived on macaroni and cheese and instant food. Tired of eating that, eventually, I tried my hand at cooking. It was a trial and error process I burnt the pulav, would never get the dal right, the rice was either over-cooked or uncooked. So I switched from the microwave to the cooker. That too was disaster. I could never figure out how many whistles for the rice or the dal. My American roommate got her dal right before I did. My American friends and I started having massive cookouts. We would pick out the most complicated dish, and make it. Necessity made me learn cooking. Now that I am back in Mumbai, I don't get to cook everyday since I am working. But I cook during weekends.

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