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Am I doing the right thing?

Updated on: 04 September,2024 05:08 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

Also, if you are hurt and this isn’t being acknowledged by him, it is not a good sign irrespective of whether his actions were right or wrong

Am I doing the right thing?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been madly in love with a girl who is moving to another city soon. She likes me but isn’t in love with me. I am thinking of quitting my job and moving to her city soon so I can try and convince her to be with me. My friends think this is a good idea but, when I told her about this, she was not enthusiastic and just asked me why I was moving. I am not sure if she will agree, so I am taking a huge professional risk by doing this. Is it worth it? If I don’t do anything, and lose her, I will always ask myself if I should have done this while I had the chance. I keep changing my mind, but I have to decide soon because she leaves in less than two months. What do I do?
It’s okay to do something to avoid feeling any sense of regret later, but this has to be grounded in some semblance of reality. She knows how you feel, has never reciprocated, and isn’t particularly concerned about your presence or absence in the city she is moving to. What drastic event do you believe will change how she sees you? Optimism is great, but you have to weigh the facts with what you stand to lose as well. Why not ask her a direct question about her feelings and whether she believes she may come to see things differently, then make your decision based on how she reacts? 


My partner broke up with his ex a month before we began dating but continued to see her for a while even after we got into a relationship. He doesn’t feel guilty about this, but I am angry and want to break up. Am I being unreasonable?
What he did was wrong, and you deserve an apology. Also, if you are hurt and this isn’t being acknowledged by him, it is not a good sign irrespective of whether his actions were right or wrong. 


The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com 


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