I can’t tell my friend because he may feel insulted or may say something to his sister, but it is now affecting our relationship because I have begun to avoid visiting him
Illustration/Uday Mohite
One of my friend’s sisters has a huge crush on me and it is starting to make me uncomfortable because I don’t have any feelings for her. I told her this a few months ago, but she still comes out and sits in the room when I’m visiting, and I always catch her staring at me. I can’t tell my friend because he may feel insulted or may say something to his sister, but it is now affecting our relationship because I have begun to avoid visiting him. I don’t know how to deal with this because it will make me the villain no matter what I do. It’s unfair because I haven’t done anything to put myself in this situation. How do I deal with this?
If you want to save your friendship, you don’t have a choice but to tell your friend how you feel and why you have been avoiding him. To pre-empt how he may react is doing him a disservice, because you’re assuming he will be offended or angry. Even if he does react in one of those ways, you have to get this off your chest because, as you point out, you haven’t done anything to place yourself in this situation. Tell him why you are worried about his reaction and how it is making you uncomfortable and rely on the fact that you have both been friends long enough to be able to have a conversation even if it is difficult.
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I have been dating a girl who always makes snide comments about people who seem poorer than she is. This is confusing because she doesn’t seem like a horrible human being. Is this a red flag that she is pretending to be someone she’s not?
How we treat people less fortunate than ourselves says a lot about our character and how we have been raised. If you are upset by her behaviour, call her out on and ask for an explanation. Being rude to anyone for no reason is unacceptable.
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