It’s possible that she just needs some space to sort out what she is feeling.
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My girlfriend recently told me that she doesn’t feel as if she is in love with me. When I asked her to explain, she said that she liked me and liked spending time with me but doesn’t know if her feelings for me are strong enough to be called love. I asked if she wanted to end the relationship, but she said she was happy to keep things the way they are. I don’t know what to do about this. She may be happy to be with me, for whatever reason, but I would like to be with someone who genuinely loves me and feels the same way about me that I do for her. I am in love with my girlfriend, and always thought it was mutual, so I am having a hard time processing this. What should I do?
You are entitled to feeling this way about your relationship because you should be with someone who reciprocates your feelings. It’s possible that your girlfriend needs time to understand what her feelings for you are, and that is a conversation you can have with her because it seems as if she is confused rather than antagonistic. She clearly wants to be with you, and doesn’t want this relationship to be over, which raises the possibility that she may not be at the same place as you, emotionally. If this isn’t something you can handle, you can choose to end this relationship, but I suggest you wait before making any drastic move. Talk about why this upsets you, what your expectations from a partner are, and why you need to be with someone who feels as strongly as you. It’s possible that she just needs some space to sort out what she is feeling.
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Is it too late for someone to learn basic social skills when it comes to speaking with members of the opposite sex?
It’s never late because, at some level, we are all evolving and learning to communicate better. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
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