Friend is now acting distant...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I'm not sure why things are changing between my best friend and me, but I suspect his girlfriend is causing this rift. They began dating six months ago and, since then, he has been distant and doesn't open up about his life as much as he used to. We hardly talk these days, which was never the case. I don't get along with his girlfriend and have made that obvious, so I know she doesn't care much about me. It's sad that he doesn't see this, and that he allows himself to be influenced to such an extent that our friendship may be in danger. We have been together for years, so it breaks my heart to see how he has changed in such a short span of time. How can I fix this before it gets too late? If he continues to move away from me, there may come a time when I won't be able to say or do anything to resolve this problem. This is also a strong possibility if his relationship evolves and gets serious. I want to try and make it work before things deteriorate to that extent.
Your friendship, like any relationship, requires work from both sides. Your friend has moved away, for reasons that may make sense to him alone, but you need to keep lines of communication open for as long as you can. Tell him what you think, why you are worried, and why you don't want things to get worse. Also, given that your relationship with his girlfriend is fraught, why not make an effort to mend things on that front too? She is important to him and, as your best friend, he probably expects you to be more accommodating. Yes, it may be difficult if she isn't trying too, but that shouldn't stop you from reaching out. Try speaking to her more and allowing her to get to know you better. This shouldn't be a problem if you can all find a way of navigating trivial annoyances.

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