He’s still texting his ex-girlfriend!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently found out that the person I have been dating for six months has been messaging his ex all this time. He told me they weren't in touch because of a bad break-up so this surprised me. When I asked about the lie, he said he didn't want to hurt me by telling me about it, which I understand but can't accept because I now question everything else he has told me. If he can't be honest just because he thinks I will be upset, there is no way for me to trust him on anything else. I don't even know if he is cheating on me, and I don't feel like being with him anymore. I still love him a lot, which is why this hurts me. What do I do about this? Should I just believe him and go back to how things were?
You shouldn't accept anything you aren't comfortable with just because you believe you love someone. There is a breakdown of trust here and no relationship can work without that being addressed and fixed first. If you believe your boyfriend is cheating on you, going back to him doesn't resolve anything. It's obvious that his actions have caused real pain, and his explanation hasn't been enough. If you want to make this work, you will have to first tell him why he needs to regain your trust and ask him if he is prepared to do what it takes for that to happen. You will also have to evaluate how you feel about him being in touch with his ex, and what this means for your relationship if you aren't comfortable with the idea. Any other doubts or questions will also have to be considered, and you will have to be clear about anything you want answers to.

I think I have found someone I love, but don't know if this is too soon. What if it is just an infatuation?
Spending more time with this person will help you find out.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com