I have a problem with his friends!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have a problem with some of the people my boyfriend spends time with. They are not a good influence on him, because I know how they spend their time and am aware of their views on women. One of them openly asked me to not bother getting too attached because my boyfriend would dump me at some point. My boyfriend wasn't around when this conversation took place, and he laughed it off when I told him about it later, but I am concerned because I know how discussions like these can change the way people deal with relationships. I don't want to control who my boyfriend spends time with, but I don't want to sit by idly while people influence him in awful ways. What should I do?
It's okay to be concerned about who your partner is spending time with, but it's also important to acknowledge that adults have minds of their own and will form opinions based upon their own free will. Even if, hypothetically speaking, you manage to wean him off these friends of his, you can't control how his mind works or how he treats you because that is a function of how he has been raised. We are constantly shaped by our environment and will always have to choose between what is right and what isn't. He hasn't given you any reason to assume he will listen to what these people are saying and, if he does, it will be a sign of his own weakness and willingness to be influenced. It makes more sense to focus on your relationship with him and make sure that is strong, rather than try and police everyone else who has access to him.

How do I tell my parents that I am dating someone? They think I am single, and this will shock them.
Why assume they will be shocked? Honesty is often an underrated virtue. You can't hide your relationship from them forever, so why not find out what they have to say?

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