Is she just blowing me off?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been asking a friend out to dinner or coffee for weeks now, and she always says she wants to go out, but never commits to a date. I don't know if she is genuinely busy or is just blowing me off. I wish she would be more direct. Should I stop messaging her and wait until she changes her mind or give her an ultimatum and tell her that I won't meet her if she doesn't agree to a date in the near future? I don't want to be too aggressive, but this has been going on for three months and I want to know if I am just wasting my time. What should I do?
You should learn to respect boundaries and accept that not everyone's world revolves around you. She says she wants to and is presumably being honest or she could have simply rejected you outright. If you want to meet her, and aren't willing to give her time or space, this isn't going to work. As for an ultimatum, how would you respond to the shoe being on the other foot, and someone presenting you with one? This is probably how things work in bad movies, but they almost always fail in real life. Be patient or give up and move on.

My wife and I were married a few months ago and the big shock has been how she spends money. She is very extravagant, and we have barely managed to save anything since the wedding. I had no idea she was so bad with managing finances, but I am afraid of saying anything because I don't want to come across as too controlling. How do I send her the message?
She is your wife and is presumably as invested in making this marriage work as you are. Being able to walk about money is as important as other big issues that crop up in any serious relationship. Just tell her how this can have an impact on both your futures.

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